This Is Some Sad Funny!

Here's the thing. I am no angelic being. I am by no means saintly in the Mother Theresa vein. In fact, I don't prefer to use the culturally overburdened term, "Christian," as a personal descriptor. As brand drivers go, assuming high anointed status or even direct Christ-like affiliation is from here to Pluto beyond my grasp. (And btw, Poor Pluto! And now a quick moment of silence for the Pluto formerly known as Planet.) As for me, I'll just hang a "believer" dog tag around my neck and leave it at that. For this much I know. I do, fairly unequivocally, believe at least a few times each year. And no, heavens no. I'm not trying to pick on anyone or any group of someones. However, if you want me to it can be arranged along with brunch. Kidding about the former, the latter, not so much. Is there a debater out there? Present thyself and let's bring it.

Scurfing about, I came upon this Sherwin Schwartzrock illustration at InfuzeMag.com. (Look! It's right down there.) It's bloworthiness was unmistakable. That's right, bloworthy, defined by me as, "possessing the traits and qualities of something grand to stick with pen knife and about which I can then spew." It's beautiful and tragic. Woe. Woe. Woe.

Comes now our hero, one cute, spiffy, clean-cut and quite pleased with himself Christian guy presenting his, "Amazing Christian Comic Book," to the be-sandled and befuddled Jesus. The author's self adulation brims off the book cover, as well as his face. He made a comic book for Jesus! And BOY-HOWDY is he proud of it. Problem is, it's stinko poopie.

If I were writing thought bubbles for this one, Jesus would have clouds swirling about his noggin..."Hmm. Okay. Cool. [Be affirming. Look pleased. Pat him on the head.] This is, what, like the 1369th one of these things I've gotten this month? I keep telling these guys I'm not publishing or endorsing this sort of thing. Per usual, White Horse Press digs the allegorical, the parabolic well-woven manuscript, not this overt obviousness. Dad and I are all about story and plot and and character development, life lessons and killer illo's. Besides, have you seen some of that Dark Horse stuff lately? Whoa."

I know. Harsh. But if you've got something great, let it sing to everyone, man and mouse, woman and child. If it's rot, slapping a branding sticker on the cover doesn't redeem the lack of quality or increase the readership to the world at large. (As opposed to the world at small, i.e., Christians being scared of mainstream markets and opting for the brethren as a target market.) Repeat after me, "...wood hay and stubble. Wood hay and stubble..."

I laugh. I cry. I go in peace having thrown the first stone...